What Science Knows About Grief — And What We Can Do About It
A recent piece in The New Yorker explores what science now understands about grief — including the groundbreaking work of Dr. M. Katherine Shear at the Center for Prolonged Grief at Columbia University, and the emerging role of therapies like EMDR and psychedelic-assisted treatment in helping people who are stuck in the pain of loss. It's a topic close to our practice. Our clinical director, Mary K. Moore, LPC, trained directly with Dr. Shear at Columbia, and Lake Austin Psychotherapy is listed in the Center for Prolonged Grief's roster of recommended therapists. Drawing on that specialized training, Mary provides evidence-based treatment for prolonged grief, tailoring care to each client's unique experience while following the principles of Prolonged Grief Therapy (PGT). Here's what the science tells us — and what it means for people who are struggling.
Grief Is Normal. Getting Stuck in Grief Is a Treatable Condition.
Most people who experience the death of someone close will grieve deeply and, over time, find a way to carry that loss forward. The pain doesn't disappear, but it softens. Life reorganizes around the absence. For some people, that doesn't happen. The acute pain of the loss stays as raw and overwhelming months or years later as it was in the first weeks. This isn't a character flaw or a sign of loving someone too much — it's a clinical condition that the psychiatric community now formally recognizes as Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD), included in the DSM-5-TR in 2022. PGD affects roughly 7–10% of bereaved individuals. It's characterized by persistent, intense yearning for the person who died, difficulty accepting the reality of the loss, a sense that life has lost its meaning, and significant disruption to daily functioning. It's distinct from depression and PTSD, though it can co-occur with both — and critically, it doesn't respond well to treatments designed for those conditions. The recognition of PGD as a formal diagnosis was driven in large part by the research of Dr. Katherine Shear, who spent decades developing and testing a targeted treatment approach. Her work demonstrated that people with prolonged grief need treatment specifically designed for grief — not general therapy, not antidepressants alone, but an approach that directly addresses the impediments to adapting to loss.Most people who experience the death of someone close will grieve deeply and, over time, find a way to carry that loss forward. The pain doesn't disappear, but it softens. Life reorganizes around the absence.
How We Treat Prolonged Grief at Lake Austin Psychotherapy
At Lake Austin Psychotherapy, we use two evidence-based approaches for grief that are often more effective than traditional talk therapy alone: EMDR and, when appropriate, ketamine-assisted psychotherapy.
Prolonged Grief Therapy (PGT)
Mary Moore's training with Dr. Shear at Columbia informs her approach to every grief case. PGT is a structured, 16-session therapy that helps clients process the loss, address the specific obstacles keeping them stuck, and rebuild a meaningful life alongside — not in spite of — their grief. It integrates elements of cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure-based techniques, and interpersonal therapy into a framework designed specifically for the experience of loss. PGT doesn't ask you to "get over" your grief or forget the person you lost. It helps you move from a place where the pain dominates everything to a place where you can hold both the love and the loss without being overwhelmed.
EMDR Therapy for Grief
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is increasingly recognized as a powerful treatment for grief-related distress. Research shows that grief shares many features with traumatic stress — shattered assumptions about the world, intrusive memories, avoidance, and emotional flooding. EMDR targets these directly. Through bilateral stimulation, EMDR helps the brain reprocess the most painful memories associated with the loss — the moment you received the news, scenes from the hospital, the funeral, the empty chair at the table. The memories remain, but their emotional charge diminishes. Many clients describe a shift from being trapped in the worst moments to being able to access the full range of memories — including the meaningful, loving ones that grief had buried. Our team includes EMDRIA-certified EMDR therapists with specific experience treating grief and loss. EMDR for grief is highly effective via telehealth, making it accessible to clients throughout Texas.
Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy for Grief
For clients with treatment-resistant grief — particularly when prolonged grief co-occurs with severe depression or PTSD — ketamine-assisted psychotherapy can open a therapeutic window that other approaches cannot. Ketamine creates a period of heightened neuroplasticity during which the brain is more receptive to processing stuck emotional material. When paired with ongoing grief-focused psychotherapy, this window allows clients to make breakthroughs that months of talk therapy alone may not have achieved. At Lake Austin Psychotherapy, every ketamine infusion is administered by Dr. Truman Milling, MD, FACEP, a board-certified emergency physician, in our private West Austin offices with full medical monitoring. Ketamine-assisted psychotherapy is always integrated with ongoing therapy — it's not a standalone treatment.
When to Seek Help for Grief
If it has been more than a year since the death of someone close to you and you're experiencing any of the following, you may be dealing with prolonged grief disorder:
- Intense yearning or longing for the deceased that hasn't softened
- Difficulty accepting the death or believing it really happened
- Feeling that a part of you died along with the person you lost
- Emotional numbness or detachment from others
- Avoidance of anything that reminds you of the loss
- A sense that life has no purpose or meaning without the person
- Difficulty engaging in activities, relationships, or planning for the future
These are not signs of weakness — they're signs that your grief has become stuck and needs targeted treatment. The good news is that prolonged grief disorder responds well to evidence-based therapy, often within a defined course of treatment.
Treatment Rooted in the Science of Grief
Lake Austin Psychotherapy is one of a small number of practices in Texas with direct training connections to Dr. Shear's Center for Prolonged Grief at Columbia University. We bring that evidence base to every grief case we treat — combining Prolonged Grief Therapy principles, EMDR, and when appropriate, ketamine-assisted psychotherapy to provide the most effective path forward. All grief therapy sessions are available via secure telehealth for residents anywhere in Texas. Ketamine-assisted psychotherapy is administered in person at our private West Austin offices, with luxury transportation available from Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth, and San Antonio.
Start with a Conversation
If you're struggling with grief that hasn't softened, we'd like to help. Your first session is a free, confidential one-hour consultation — no cost, no obligation. We'll listen to your experience and discuss whether our approach might be right for you.
Schedule a FREE 1-hour consultation by clicking the button below. You can also reach us at info@lakeaustinpsychotherapy.com or call/text 512.666.1184.